I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried..." "Nice try... Five cents, please!

Little brothers are the buck privates of life!

Christmas is doing a little something extra for someone.

I never made a mistake in my life. I thought I did once, but I was wrong.

I'm depressed! I'm completely depressed! I am firmly convinced that there is no one in this world who really likes me!" "So what else is new?

If life were a camera, I'd have the lens cap on.

Security is a thumb and a blanket. Happiness is a warm puppy.