Little brothers are the buck privates of life!

The worst part of it is you don't know if he's barking at an owl, the moon or a burglar!" "That's one of the drawbacks of a limited vocabulary!

It's either the flu or love... The symptoms are the same.

I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried..." "Nice try... Five cents, please!

I'm dying and all I hear are insults!

Exercise is a dirty word. Every time I hear it I wash my mouth out with chocolate.

Snoopy: So this is the last day of the year. Another complete year gone by and what have I accomplished this year that I haven't accomplished every other year? Nothing! (He smiles.) How consistent can you get?