I proved to you that psychiatry is an exact science!" "An exact science?!" "Yes, you owe me exactly one hundred and forty-three dollars!

I think I'm afraid of being happy because whenever I get too happy something bad always happens.

I love America. It's Americans I can't stand.

Travel tips: How to avoid carsickness, seasickness and airsickness... Be careful what you eat. And stay home.

One moment, please... We interrupt our regular program to bring you this special bulletin: It's a nice day outside.

I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.

There are three things I have learned never to discuss with people...religion, politics and the Great Pumpkin!