Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

The rain washed away my pitcher's mound... I'm a pitcher without a mound... I'm a lost soul... I'm like a politician out of office." "Or a sailor without an ocean..." "Or a boy without a girl.

Dear Valentine, I have thought of you often. Not all the time, but often.

I want to know about life! I want some real answers..." "Five." "Five?!" "I thought that was a pretty good answer!

When you die, are you ever allowed to come back?" "Only if you had your hand stamped.

The best theology is probably no theology; just love one another.

My grandfather has been very depressed lately. He just doesn't know what to do. He says it's late in the game, and he's afraid that life has him beaten." "Tell him to take out the goalie.