Dear IRS, I am writing to cancel my subscription. Please remove my name from your mailing list.

The best theology is probably no theology; just love one another.

If you can't beat 'em, cooperate 'em to death!

Your stupidity is appalling!" "Most stupidity is!

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

Nobody gave me what I wanted for my birthday! Nobody! What sort of presents do you call these? New shoes, a green sweater and a bunch of stupid toys!" "What were you expecting?" "Real estate!

I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.