What's the good of living if you don't try a few things?

There is no greater burden than great potential.

Dear Sweetheart, Without you my days are endless. Days seem like weeks... Weeks feel like months... Months like years... Years like centuries... Centuries like... You get the idea.

If I were given the opportunity to present a gift to the next generation, it would be the ability for each individual to learn to laugh at himself.

You know, in a way, 'Dear Santa Claus' is rather stuffy... Perhaps something a little more intimate would be better... Something just a shade more friendly..." "How about 'Dear Fatty'?

I love humanity, it's people I don't like.

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.