That stupid Charlie Brown! He had the nerve to say I'm not perfect!" "So I suppose you hit him, huh?" "Rats! I knew I forgot something!

Sometimes I lie awake at night and think about that little red-haired girl... I don't ever want to forget her face, but if I don't forget her face, I'll go crazy... How can I remember the face I can't forget? Suddenly I'm writing country western music!

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

I have observed that whenever you try to hit somebody, there is a tendency for them to try to hit you back.

Charlie Brown got hit with a line-drive!" "Does anyone here know anything about first-aid?" "It's probably not serious... Second or third-aid will do.

We used to have a dog named Snoopy, you know, a real live dog. I suppose people who love Snoopy won't like it, but we gave him away. He fought with other dogs, so we traded him in for a load of gravel.

I have a feeling that when my ship comes in I'll be at the airport.