Dear Sweetheart, do you ever think of me? Just the other day I was thinking of you. I'm pretty sure it was you.

The best theology is probably no theology; just love one another.

Dear Great Pumpkin, Halloween is now only a few days away. Children all over the world await you coming. When you rise out of the pumpkin patch that night, please remember I am your most loyal follower. Have a nice trip. Don't forget to take out flight insurance.

Those dreams I have at night are going to drive me crazy. Last night I dreamed that little red-haired girl and I were eating lunch together... But she's gone... She's moved away, and I don't know where she lives, and she doesn't know I even exist, and I'll never see her again... And... I wish men cried.

Empty?! You took all the cookies!" "They were crying to get out of the jar... Cookies get claustrophobia too, you know!

There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.

Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.