How can we lose when we're so sincere?

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

Never jump into a pile of leaves with a wet sucker.

Duck, big brother! Here comes another day!

It's a mistake to try to avoid the unpleasant things in life... But I'm beginning to consider it.

No one would have been invited to dinner so often as Jesus was unless he were interesting and had a sense of humor.

Going to our school is an education in itself which is not to be confused with actually getting an education.