I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it.

We used to have a dog named Snoopy, you know, a real live dog. I suppose people who love Snoopy won't like it, but we gave him away. He fought with other dogs, so we traded him in for a load of gravel.

Lucy: Our teacher wants us to write an essay on praying. Charlie Brown: Praying is important when you wake up at two o'clock in the morning feeling sick from eating something dumb the day before. Lucy: I'll just say we were out of town and I didn't have time to write anything.

Linus: Nothing goes on forever. All good things must come to an end... Charlie: When do the good things start?

Big sisters are the crab grass in the lawn of life.

Soon Hansel and Gretel came to a little cottage. When they got quite near, they saw that the little house was made of bread and roofed with cake. The windows were transparent sugar." "There must not have been a very strict building code.

When you die, are you ever allowed to come back?" "Only if you had your hand stamped.