My mind reels with sarcastic replies.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

Linus: It was a short summer, Charlie Brown. Charlie Brown: And it looks like it's gonna be a looong winter.

Though her husband often went on business trips, she hated to be left alone. "I've solved your problem," he said. "I've bought you a St. Bernard. Its name is Great Reluctance. Now, when I go away, you shall know that I am leaving you with Great Reluctance!" She hit him with a waffle iron.

Just thinking about a friend makes you want to do a happy dance, because a friend is someone who loves you in spite of your faults.

Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.

It's better to live one day as a lion than a dozen years as a sheep.