If you can't beat 'em, cooperate 'em to death!

Sometimes I lie awake at night, and wonder if my life would be different if I had to do it over... Then a voice comes to me out of the dark that says, "boy, there's an original thought!

I've tried to be a better person... I've tried, and tried and tried! You know how hard I've tried! Tell me how I've tried..." "Nice try... Five cents, please!

My anxieties have anxieties.

On a beautiful day like this it would be best to stay in bed so you wouldn't get up and spoil it!

Humor is proof that everything is going to be all right with God nevertheless.

I feel kind of depressed today... Do you ever have the feeling that life has passed you by? Worse than that... Sometimes I think life and I are going in opposite directions!