Guys want to be respected and acknowledged. They want to feel what they contributed matters.

You can't process me with a normal brain.

I was born dead. Yeah, the umbilical cord was like, floppy baby, the whole thing. Yeah, it was bad.

What is a normal childhood? We weren't rich, we were pretty middle-class. My dad survived from job to job; with him taking care of so many relatives, he couldn't save any money.

I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

Can't is the cancer of happening.

You can't criticize Bob Dylan's singing. You have to respect Billy Joel as a brilliant poet. You can't tell me there's a better rock band ever than Led Zeppelin. And if you speak during the Eagles' "Last Resort," we're done. I'm just asking for seven minutes. This stuff really matters, you know.