I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

I’m not 'aw shucks'. Because I'm gnarly.

Can't is the cancer of happening.

We're Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be?

There's a lot of stuff I want to do, just things that I want to explore that don't involve show business. I'm going to become a television critic. Can you imagine? But I would even consider becoming a baseball scout. Traveling around the heartland looking for the next world-beating phenom.

I have a 10,000-year-old brain and the boogers of a 7-year-old. That's how I describe myself.

Fear is never a good enough reason to do nothing