I dare anyone to spend 10 years in the laugh-track that is Chuck Lorre's hive of oppression and not suffer some form of an emotional tsunami.

Early on, I used to think it was really cool and macho to jump out of the car and tackle the bad guy. But then when you see the stunts in the movie, you realize it could've been a lady in a poncho.

If you love with violence and you hate with violence there is nothing that can be questioned.

For now, I'm just going to hang out with these two smoking hotties and fly privately around the world. It might be lonely up here, but I sure like the view.

The paramedic called the press and sold me like a loaf of bread. This was news, and he wanted to be the one to report it.

Athletes become our heroes, because they're superhuman. They do things nobody else can do. They're better than 6 billion other people.

I'm an F-18, bro, and I will destroy you in the air and deploy my ordnance to the ground.