I am on a drug. It's called Charlie Sheen. It's not available. If you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body.

People ask all the time, "What are you thinking?" It's my least favorite question in the world. The last bastion of solace is my mind. It's an invasion.

Resentments are the rocket fuel that lives in the tip of my saber.

I've got volumes on how not to behave. I've got more information now than a guy should have at my age.

The problem with prostitutes is, what if you actually like somebody you meet in that situation? Where do you go from there? What do you do?

Touch my children and I will eat your hands off your freakin arms.

If you love with violence and you hate with violence there is nothing that can be questioned.