I don't want to get high with my kids, because then everything is different forever. That's so stupid, I think.

You have this great big fantasy life, and it looks like a non-stop 24/7 party. But what do you do when you get to the end of the Internet and there's nothing left to buy? There's just a picture of Wayne Newton flipping you off.

I’m done with the winning cause I’ve already won.

Fame is empowering. My mistake was that I thought I would instinctively know how to handle it. But there's no manual, no training course.

I'm 0 for 3 with marriage - the scoreboard doesn't lie, never has. So what we all have is a marriage of the heart. To sully or contaminate or radically disrespect this union with a shameful contract is something that I will leave to the amateurs and the Bible grippers.

The problem with prostitutes is, what if you actually like somebody you meet in that situation? Where do you go from there? What do you do?

I've spent, I think, close to the last decade effortlessly and magically converting your tin cans into pure gold.