The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.

Most republicans are against contraception because they don't care about it. You can't get pregnant anally anyway.

People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.

I think it's important to be involved with charities that don't necessarily reflect what you're dealing with in your life.

ONE OF MY girlfriends was getting married. This was becoming an annoying pattern.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.