It's hard on an all-gay softball team because no one knows if they want to be a pitcher or a catcher.

The only people I owe an apology to are my dead parents. Except my father because he's still alive.

This women/ killer was a testament to my theory that the crazier you are, the more calories you burn. That's why psychos are always so skinny.

The challenge is to keep it fresh. If you're talking about Britney Spears over and over, it's very hard to keep that interesting.

Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around but she doesn't have any patience for suffering unless it's her own.

You get photographed together when there's 25 people with you and people assume that you're having sex, which is definitely not the case.

It’s true what they say about patience being a virtue; it just happens to be a virtue that I choose not to pursue.