I wish it was that easy to get turned on for me - at this point, I need a bottle of Belevere and a fighterjet.
Chelsea HandlerI was tortured, and probably half of it was deserved, but I was bullied — so much so that there were days when I was like, 'I can't go to school today.' I was too scared.
Chelsea HandlerI'm not that shallow, asshole. I don't need money. It's way more important for them to be good-looking.
Chelsea HandlerPeople ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50.
Chelsea Handler