I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

I'd like to go out for a cocktail... or seven.

Vomit and feces are two reason I have decided not to procreate.

I think it's important to be involved with charities that don't necessarily reflect what you're dealing with in your life.

Whoever calls and asks me to do stuff and obviously, with having your own TV show, people want you to get involved. They know you're a stand-up comedian so they're always looking for somebody funny to host an event.

I'll tell you what can make bacon better... nothing.