I hate when men think that money is gonna buy you happiness... I mean, it helps.
... some of the best sex I can barely remember.
Kristen Stewart always looks like she's posing for pictures taken in a basement by her creepy uncle.
I’ll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.
While looking at a website for liposuction, I learned that it was a six-to eight-week recovery period, the clincher being that, during that time, I would under no circumstances be able to use street drugs. Obviously I had to think of a more realistic approach.
Hulk Hogan's wife has filed for divorce. This is the most devastating breakup since Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee. And then Pam Anderson and Kid Rock. And soon, Pam Anderson and Rick Salomon.