I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.

It would be nice if everybody were a little bit more mindful of what kind of product you're putting out there. Nothing's for everybody. People are liked and disliked, but at least be mindful of what you're doing and what your message is, and trying to stay true to your authenticity and what you're trying to attain or what your goals are, and don't let anybody get in the way of that. At the same time, have a goal, and have a message.

Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.

Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.

I have a question. Do you guys think it's OK to drink while you're pregnant if you're planning on giving the baby up for adoption?

I’ll always be doing stand-up as long as people are still interested in seeing me.