I had an abortion when I was 16. Because that's what I should have done. Otherwise I would now have a 20-year-old kid. Anyway, those are things that people shouldn't be dishonest about it.

Christina Aguilera finally announced her pregnancy. Thanks for waiting until your third trimester to get the word out—why not just wait until you’re crowning?

If you judge a person by the company they keep, then I'm retarded.

I don't think the problem is telling people you're on a diet. The problem is eating ice cream for breakfast.

We set up a bakery called Bad Boy Bakery, to cook on the inside to sell on the outside. It was huge, because it got them working. I'd give them a certificate to go back in the community with a skill. They could get a job. We set up a little bakery and it's gone crazy. I need to be that raw to do the glossy stuff. I need to get back to that kind of scenario.

A lot of amazing comedians that I've worked with just really follow their instincts and you can't really teach someone comedic timing. And you just kind of have it.

I don't appreciate people who celebrate their dog's birthdays with "dog parties," and then invite their friends who don't even have dogs. I understand why people like dogs, and I think they definitely bring more to the table than cats or those godforsaken ferrets, but I don't think it's healthy for people to treat their dogs like they are real people.