I couldn't go any higher with three Michelin stars. I mastered my craft. I'm still learning and picking up ideas.

I had to feign interest in all this nonsense until I could ask when I could come over and sit on his face. I didn't say that out loud, of course. I never say the things I really want to. If I did, I'd have no friends.

Nothing is more American than stuffing your face with loaded potato skins while drinking loaded mudslides.

I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

Sometimes, Chelsea, I wonder, how you get by from day to day. It's a good thing you're so voluptuous.

If you get into a customer service fight with a hooker, even if you're in the right, you're in the wrong.