A Catholic priest who’s been sending threatening notes to Conan O’Brien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes to show you that people can become obsessed with redheads.

I'm always happy to pitch in and do something. Everybody needs to be laughing a little.

I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense.

For the gay and lesbian community, even though I'm not gay I think its really important to speak out for people that aren't necessarily dealing with the same circumstances you're dealing with and don't have the benefit of the health care system or the government that you do.

I got a vibrator that needed two nine volt batteries. What am I - R2D2? I don't know what to do with that.

I know they don't recommend Ibuprofen during pregnancy, but you needed something fast for the hangovers.

You don't give something away because it's fat. You take it and you look at it.