I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.

David Hasselhoff was hospitalized after falling off the wagon again. He probably got used to drinking too much, because for years he never had to worry about driving anywhere - his car drove itself.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.

I wanted to kick Bruce in the taint. No one is just one thing. Many things contribute to the whole of a person, and just because vodka accounts for 50 percent of my body weight, that doesn't mean I walk around with a vodka drip, forcing every plant, person, or animal to imbibe. I've always had a disliking for animal trainers, and this guy cemented my theory that people who chaperone animals for a living have never had a girl sit on their face.

First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.

There should be a talent that goes along with being famous.

Getting rewarded for being pregnant when you're a teenager? Are you serious? I mean, that makes me want to kill somebody.