Obviously, if I was serious about having a relationship with some one long-term, the last people I would introduce him to would be my family.

The only reason I think I would marry a foreigner would be to have kids with weird accents.

I think it's important to be involved with charities that don't necessarily reflect what you're dealing with in your life.

I'm a worker. I like to work and I like to provide work for other people. I like to put people on my show who normally would never have a chance at being on television.

I'm not going to blow up just for the sake of it, because it's on TV. That's not the issue.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I would never sell my dog for a man. I'd sell the man.