Thanksgiving is coming. I wonder what the holiday will be like at Dog the Bounty Hunter’s house—obviously, they’ll have a turkey with all-white meat.

There's a reason you never see anyone's house with a Beware of Cat sign. Because they're not even worth mentioning.

First of all, who cares if people hate you? There's always a guarantee that certain people will dislike you. There's never any guarantee that anyone will like you. So if anyone likes you at all, you've already won.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.

First of all, i'm not an actor - I'm an asshole.

Every time John Travolta assaults a masseur, a scientologist gets their wings.