Are you there vodka? It's me, Chelsea. Please get me out of jail and I promise I will never drink again. Drink and drive. I will never drink and drive again. I may even start my own group fashioned after MADD, Mothers Against Drunk Driving, but I'll call it AWLTDASH, Alcoholics Who Like to Drink and Stay Home.
Chelsea HandlerA Catholic priest whoโs been sending threatening notes to Conan OโBrien was charged with stalking in the fourth degree. It just goes to show you that people can become obsessed with redheads.
Chelsea HandlerI don't mean to be a racist but if you're going to get raped by a Japanese guy, it's not going to hurt at all.
Chelsea Handler