If you can't trust your coke dealer, who can you trust?

I think everyone's afraid of public speaking. There have been times where I've come out of my own show and been like, 'Oh, God, what am I doing?' . . . You have to remind yourself that 'OK, I'm kind of a badass. I can handle it.'

Everyone knows if you're going to take weed to school, you put it in your trapper keeper to keep it fresh.

I don't know what it is about accents that makes me want to get undressed and high-five myself.

For months there have been rumors that J.Lo is finally pregnant with Marc Anthony's baby. She was afraid it might never happen. I'm afraid it's going to look like Marc Anthony.

As a woman, we should all stop talking about it and just acknowledge what's happened and act like we own the space, because we do.

What about your constitutional right to bear arms, you say. I would simply point out that you don’t have to exercise a constitutional right just because you have it. You have the constitutional right to run for president of the United States, but most people have too much sense to insist on exercising it.