Who's the president on the $100 bill? I don't know. I don't need to know because I don't use cash. I only use travelers checks.

I'm actually pretty good at tennis. Well, if I'm in the Special Olympics or something.

When you see the veins popping out of my neck, that's an exclamation point.

I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?

My mom was kinda like a cat. She slept a lot.

My theory about Taylor Swift is that she's a virgin, that everyone breaks up with her because they date her for two weeks and she's like, 'I'm not gonna do it'.

I don't cook... I don't know how to clean... there's may be a good chance I'm an alcoholic.