No one tells me what to do -- in any capacity.
I love people who have such passion for complete nonsense.
If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.
I didn't become a comedian to work this hard.
You know you're a hot mess when the only person buying you drinks all night is yourself.
The L. A. Times is reporting that Britney Spears' album Blackout will be number one on the Billboard charts. Not to toot my horn, but I predicted this on my show a week ago. No one wanted to believe me - even I didn't want to believe me, but now I know how Nostradamus feels.