If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.

My tendency to make up stories and lie compulsively for the sake of my own amusement takes up a good portion of my day and provides me with a peace of mind not easily attainable in this economic climate.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

Lydia was the kind of friend whom people referred to as a 'party favor' -- always fun to be around but she doesn't have any patience for suffering unless it's her own.

Have you ever been to an AA meeting? No wonder these people are alcoholics - I've never needed a drink more badly in my life.

I think it's important to be authentic to who you are, and if you're inauthentic at all, people smell that from a mile away.

People always tell me I need to have a kid, and I say, No, I don't. Because I wouldn't have just one kid; I'd have six. I need a huge family. So I just kind of fill my house with tons of rejects and misfits so it feels like I have a bunch of children.