If you want to have sex with strangers, you have to do it the old fashion way and become a prostitute.

I try to not overthink anything. I don't understand why nipples are nudity. Who cares? Men can show their nipples but if we have breasts we can't show them?

My whole life is reading tabloid magazines. It’s really sad, because that’s what my show is all about — what is going on with celebrities. So I have to know everything.

Is Heather McDonald your best friend? You better get a new one.

Ivory's the kind of girl who gets drunk and immediately starts slurring. I have a lot of friends like that, and I think it's because it makes me look 'more together.

No one has ever said to me 'go home and make a baby.' I have been told several times to go to Planned Parenthood and make the baby go away. Happy Hannukah.

I like to laugh. It's kind of escapism. I like to make people laugh. And I kind of like people just to have to not think about anything