Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.