What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

I am a clown, just without the painted smile.