You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

How much do I owe you?