Chevy Chase Quotes

I just went into this business for laughs. I guess I don't mind being an actor so much now.

Anyone who wants to run has to be a Jimmy Swaggart, minus the default.

Television doesn't make stars. It's the written media, the press, that makes stars.

Socialism works ... [and] Cuba might prove that. I think it's conclusive that there have been areas where socialism has helped to keep people at least stabilized at a certain level.

What makes a home home? Animals, and a little bit of clutter.

The fact was, Ford kept stumbling around. I didn't want him in the White House. I wanted Carter in, and I had a forum of 20 million people watching.

All my children inherited perfect pitch.

Fame is a very unnatural human condition. When you stop to realize that Abraham Lincoln was probably never seen by more than 400 people in a single evening, and that I can enter over 40 million homes in a single evening due to the power of television, you have to admit the situation is not normal.

You could knock my teeth out and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.

I'm going to give you a little advice. There's a force in the universe that makes things happen. And all you have to do is get in touch with it, stop thinking, let things happen, and be the ball.

I was always the guy getting kicked out of my classes at school for having an attitude problem.

Last good pratfall I did, I broke bones in both hands. I still feel it when people shake my hand.

Step by step, we will break this cycle of silence, poor information and stigma.

Once I got married and had kids, I moved away from romantic roles, because it seemed wrong to have my 3-year-old wondering why Daddy was kissing someone else.

I tell the person I won't take a picture or sign the autograph, but I will shake their hand. That kind of personal touch is all they're really seeking.

How much do I owe you?

Every Vacation movie didn't just make the studio money. They each made the studio a lot of money.

It's never a good idea for a celebrity to sign autographs or take pictures if a crowd is gathering.

I guess I look so straight and normal nobody expects me to pick my nose and fall.

A flute without holes, is not a flute. A donut without a hole, is a Danish.

Parrots make great pets. They have more personality than goldfish

A laugh is a surprise. And all humor is physical. I was always athletic, so that came naturally to me.

Some Harvard guy said that acid would open our minds, pot wouldn't hurt us, and cocaine was benign.

The best advice I can give you about falling is to never land.

I have three daughters. I wanted them to be raised where there are real seasons and where everyone their age wasn't trying to get into movies.

I learned a lot about handling fans from established stars.

What interests me is being alive and being with friends that I care about and being as creative as I can given circumstance.

I am a clown, just without the painted smile.

I made about 28 movies, and I think about five of them were good.

The best comedy I ever did was when people didn't know who I was.

I think the Clintons are brilliant. I've never met a person as intelligent as Bill, and I think Hillary is right up there with him. They're too smart for Washington.

My father was the funniest guy I ever met. I'm not sure if I stole his stuff or if I inherited it.

With Clinton, there's no question that I would have made fun of his out-and-out lying. But he's also a good friend.