The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil.

A golf ball is like a clock. Always hit it at 6 o'clock and make it go toward 12 o'clock. But make sure you're in the same time zone.

After all these years, it's still embarrassing for me to play on the American golf tour. Like the time I asked my caddie for a sand wedge and he came back ten minutes later with a ham on rye.

When a man retires, his wife gets twice the husband but only half the income.

I'm getting so old, I don't even buy green bananas anymore.

I never pray to God to make a putt. I pray to God to help me react good if I miss a putt.

The sweetest two words are 'next time.' The sourest word is 'if.'