When you're having trouble and topping the ball, it means the ground is moving on you.

The first time I played the Masters, I was so nervous I drank a bottle of rum before I teed off. I shot the happiest 83 of my life.

Putting isn't golf, greens should be treated almost the same as water hazards: you land on them, then add two strokes to your score.

They claim red meat is bad for you. But I never saw a sick-looking tiger.

If you buy a book on golf instruction buy the thinnest book you can find. The thinner the book, chances are the easier and more elementary the instruction. It can do one of two things: help you more or hurt you less. Both are good compared to the alternative.

Then Lee Trevino and Jack Nicklaus come in. I'll caddie for Jack.

I have 13 dependents. All of them have 140 IQ or better, except me. I'm under 100 IQ, and I support them all.