My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.
Chic MurrayWe were so poor; the ultimate luxury in our house at the time was ashtrays without advertisements.
Chic MurrayI was taking my dog out the other day and I met this chap who asked me where I was going. The dog is foaming at the mouth, so I explained that I was on my way to the vet to have it put down. He asked if it was mad, to which I replied that it wasn't exactly pleased about it.
Chic MurrayI dreamt I was forced to eat 25lb of marshmallows. When I woke up, my pillow was missing.
Chic Murray