My sister wanted a cat for a pet... I wanted a dog, so they bought a cat and taught it to bark.
I first met my wife in the tunnel of love. She was digging it at the time.
I felt as out of place as a left-handed violinist in a crowded string section.
A luxury meal was prairie sandwiches - two slices of bread with wide-open spaces between them.
She had been married so often she bought a drip-dry wedding dress.
My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.