I can get a great look at a t-bone steak by shoving my head up a bull's ass but I'd rather take the butchers word for it.

You gotta fight for your right to vote!

I still have to work on my weight and some of my other demons.

I'm just dandy, I got a bowl of chocolate pudding in my underpants!

I was in the Pritikin Center in Santa Monica once, trying to lose 30 or 40 pounds in a month. I'd work... on a treadmill and with the weights, but it was driving me nuts. So I escaped. Tom Arnold picked me up and we went to Le Dome and had tons of desserts.

The point is, how do you know the Guarantee Fairy isn't a crazy glue sniffer.

First off, I am 35 years old, I am divorced, and I live in a van down by the river.