I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

You know what GED stands for? Good Enough Diploma.

I was bused to a school in Gerritsen Beach in Brooklyn in 1972. I was one of the first black kids in the history of the school.

Are we so desperate for entertainment that we will fall for a Trickless magician?? Saw a woman in half. Pull a rabbit out of a hat. Do something! What tricks does this guy have? "I'm in a box...and I ain't gonna eat.". "I'm in a box... and I ain't gonna eat!!" That ain't no trick! That's called living in the projects!

The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.

I pray there's a God...I know there's an Oprah.

You want to track Hollywood careers, look in the real estate section. You see a guy buy a house that costs $6 million, and you can literally start counting the days until he starts doing crappy movies.