Gas is getting so expensive I'm gonna ride a mexican to work.

Being a comedian is a lot like being an athlete. If you're Carl Lewis and you're the fastest, then no matter what you're the fastest.

You won’t be able to take your eyes off the next four presenters: Salma Hayek and Penelope Cruz.

When a musical act performs, the black audience goes crazy for all the stuff, the album cuts, everything. White audiences, they're nice and all, but they're not going to lose it until they get the hits. Comedy is the same thing.

Kids always act up the most before they go to sleep.

I'm a rap comedian the same way Bill Cosby is a jazz comedian, Cosby's laid back. I'm like, bang, bang bang, right into it.

Women can have all the evidence but they still want the confession.