Dude, I didn't say Jude Law can't act. I didn't say Jude Law was in bad movies. I just said he's in every movie.

I'm never proper or careful, but I never curse in front of my mother, either.

We got no wealthy black people. We got rich people. Shaq is rich. The guy who signs his checks is wealthy.

Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.

You don't pay taxes; they take them from your check. That's not a payment - that's a 'jack.

Stand-up is the only career like that where once you get really big at it, people kind of encourage you not to do it.

America is the greatest country in the whole world.