Relationships, easy to get into, hard to maintain. Why are they so hard to maintain? Because it’s hard to keep up the lie! ‘Cause you can’t get nobody being you. You got to lie to get somebody. You can’t get nobody looking like you look, acting like you act, sounding like you sound. When you meet somebody for the first time, you’re not meeting them. You’re meeting their representative!
Chris RockI met so many people after I got rich and famous, and I learned that you can't ultimately trust people unless they were your friends when you were broke.
Chris RockYou know you're rich when you have to drive for a half hour to get to your house once you're on your property.
Chris RockHappy white peoples independence day the slaves weren't free but I'm sure they enjoyed fireworks.
Chris RockComedians tend to find a comfort zone and stay there and do lamer versions of themselves for the rest of their career.
Chris RockThe thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much. I think this is, in a weird way, part of the health care debate. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money.
Chris Rock