America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach.

Hollywood's racist. Hollywood is sorority racist. It's like - we like you, Rhonda, but you're not a Kappa.

Before I was a comedian, I thought the coolest thing that would happen to me was being a teenager... Boy, was I wrong!

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the one white people used to go to.

Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.

Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.

Comedians are the one who have to tell the emperor he has no clothes on.