I like the tradition of the Oscars. I like that some of the greatest comedians ever have hosted the show.

That's a sure sign someone is going crazy - when he refers to himself in the third person, talks in low tones, and walks around wearing shades all day!

Whatever your woman is into, you better be into. Whatever your man is into, you better be N2. Your partner into church, you better be into church. Your man or woman a crack head, you better be a crack head ... Otherwise it just won't work.

People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

Guys play characters that won't grow up and something catastrophic happens and they have to grow up to save the day - that's pretty much what today's comedy is about.

I've seen women who don't have great relationships with their dads, and it all comes down to this: You have to tell girls you love them every day.

Stand-up comedy is like the lowest medium in all of show business in levels of respect.