When you've been on a ghetto diet your entire life, you're just happy to get a large soda instead of a medium.

If you properly clean a room, it gets dirtier before it gets cleaner.

Now that I have children, I realize taking care of my children is more fun than anything in the whole world.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

No matter what kind of backgrounds two men are from, if you go, 'Hey, man, women are crazy,' you've got a friend.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Only black people in the whole neighborhood, so let's break it down: Me, I'm a decent comedian, I'm a'ight. Mary J. Blige, one of the greatest R&B singers to ever walk the Earth. Jay-Z, one of the greatest rappers to ever live. Eddie Murphy, one of the funniest actors to ever, ever do it. Do you know what the white man that lives next door to me does for a living? He's a f*****g dentist.