Even if you meet the perfect person, it ain’t gonna be at the perfect time. You’re married, they’re single. That’s right. You’re Jewish, they’re Palestinian. You’re a Mexican, they’re a raccoon. You’re a black woman, he’s a black man.

You're not famous unless people's mothers know who you are. Everybody else, you think you're famous, but you're just hot, and heat cools off.

Sometimes people offer you plays, they offer you parts, but they only offer it because I'm famous.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

I think all the funny people were bullied. When they talk about outlawing bullying, it's like, what? You want no Comedy Central?

White man makes guns? No problem. Black rapper says "gun"? Congressional hearing.

It's easier to get on show business, the hard part is to maintain. Nobody stays famous forever.