I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.
Chris RockYou know, some people say life is short and that you could get hit by a bus at any moment and that you have to live each day like it's your last. Bullshit. Life is long. You're probably not gonna get hit by a bus. And you're gonna have to live with the choices you make for the next fifty years.
Chris RockI saw the yearbook picture. There was six of them! I ain't have six friends in high school, I don't have six friends now! That's three on three with a half court.
Chris RockAre they real fires? Or are people just reacting to something? Just because thereโs an alarm going doesnโt mean itโs a fire. And I think that people are confusing the two. Itโs only a fire when it offends the fans, and the fans turn on you. Tosh has fans, and they get the joke. If youโve watched enough Tracy Morgan, you let the worst thing go by. When did Tracy Morgan become Walter Cronkite? You have to mean something to me to offend me. You canโt break up with me if we donโt date.
Chris Rock