Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

The government doesn't want you to use YOUR drugs, they want you to use THEIR drugs.

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much. I think this is, in a weird way, part of the health care debate. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money.

If you're black, you got to look at America a little bit different. You got to look at America like the uncle who paid for you to go to college, but who molested you.

I just thought everybody lived around abandoned buildings and crack-heads, ... I lived in the ghetto until I was like 19. I came to Los Angeles, stayed at hotels and stuff. When I got back and I saw what my neighborhood looked like, I started getting scared.