Only married people understand you can be miserable and happy at the same time.

When you meet somebody for the first time, you're not meeting them. You're meeting their representative.

Bill Cosby was the first comedian I was exposed to, because he doesn't curse.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

I love my life, but I don't think I'm any happier than my younger brother Andre, who drives a garbage truck.

The thing that surprised me the most is just how much money women that weren't rich were paying for their hair. When you're in a beauty parlor in Harlem next to abandoned buildings and somebody's paying five grand for a weave, that's a bit much. I think this is, in a weird way, part of the health care debate. It's like, hmm, there's people with $2000 weaves that could have bought health care with that weave money.

I never really write the jokes. I just sit down over a week or two and try to figure out what I want to talk about. Once I narrow that down, then I start working on the material, like "How do I make this stuff funny?"